“Pain is certain, suffering is optional.”
-Buddha-
My Name is Sharmilla but some friends call me Millie! I am not a writer, I can’t play with words so I will tell my story in very simple words.
We all now understand what it is to be in a Lockdown!
But for me ‘Lockdown’ is not a new word as I have been living in Lockdown for nearly 19 Years due to my restricted mobility as I live with ‘Fibromyalgia’! Life is definitely not a bed of roses for me, I have to face many challenges in day to day living, but my biggest challenge is to face people. I am often judged, questioned, attacked and compared by known and unknown people as I look fit and can’t show my widespread pains to them. Not many people are aware of the term ‘Hidden Disability’.
Fibromyalgia (FM) is a medical condition pronounced, fi·bro·my·al·gi·a, that causes widespread pain throughout the body. Fibromyalgia can also cause sleep problems, fatigue and mental or emotional distress. Patients with fibromyalgia are often more sensitive to pain than those who do not have fibromyalgia. This referred to as abnormal pain perception processing.
Living with chronic pain can be overwhelming, it gave me many insecurities, feelings of guilt, loneliness and shame for not being able to perform the duties of a mum like other mums and not being able to work as I need to stay close to my bed. It took a long time for me to accept my pain and I am still trying to learn to live around it with dignity.
My physical restriction did not stop me from living my life. I keep myself going, by doing things in the house and in the garden, in fact I found that living with plants and growing vegetables and flowers is very therapeutic. My insomnia taught me how to spend my sleepless night times, doing ‘Amigurumi’ (making toys), making woolly hats, gloves, socks etc!
In short to distract my mind from my pain and to utilise my 20 hours of awake time, I do different activities with mindfullness depending on my ability.
I have created ‘Millie’s World‘, where I can hide myself and keeping myself busy by creating things, cooking food for family and friends and have now created ‘Millie’s Kitchen‘ for those who can appreciate good food, ‘Millie’s Amigurumi and Hats‘ where I have been making toys and woolly hats, and ‘Millie’s Garden‘, where I can produce flowers and the tastiest fruits and vegetables for my family and friends!